Have It Your Way

Many friends and family have asked about the Philippines. The best illustration thus far has been my trip to Burger King.

Thursday at noon, four of us walked into a Burger King at a rest stop outside Manila. The manager, dressed in a black suit, opened the glass door and smiled. "Welcome to Burger King sir!" The newly-tiled floor was immaculate. Behind the spotless counter, nine employees stood ready to take my order. I paid about $3,50 for the biggest burger, fries, and drink on the menu.

About twenty minutes later, a woman wearing a white uniform walked up to our table and asked if we wanted a massage. Having been warned about certain sketchy variations, I quickly excused myself and walked to the comfort room. A comfort room is a like a bathroom, only with a more comforting name.

Inside the comfort room, I ran into a man wearing a spotless uniform from a different fast food joint. He was shaving.

I returned to my table to find that the woman in the white uniform was giving massages of the non-sketchy variety. We each tipped her before she left. I walked back up to the counter to order a caramel sundae. I pronounced it "carmel". The nine employees stood behind the counter with blank looks on their faces until I pointed to the picture on the menu in front of me.

I picked up my tray and began to walk toward the trash can. Halfway there, I was intercepted by one of the employees. She took the tray and smiled. "Thank you sir!"

On the way out, the manager opened the door for us again. She smiled. "Good-bye sir!" The thermometer on the side of the building said 30 degrees. I still have no idea what that means.

I looked across the highway from the rest-stop. There were flooded rice fields and broken tin foil houses. At the entrance to one of the houses, there was a worn Coca-Cola sign.